Naruto High School Chronicles NHS
by Kuro-Shinzui-Ookami
Summary: A mixture of passing notes in class, getting drunk, pedophile Principals, OOC Sasuke, same old Naruto and one screwed up high School! It'll be funny...trust me
1. Dammit Naruto!

**A/N: Okies, _Kuro-Shinzui-Ookami_ here...I finally got around to writing a humor fic! Yayness (Don't worry, I'll keep working on _Untold Story too _). So, this is a combination of Emails, passing notes in class between characters and also regular story writing style. I don't really know how this story's gonna work out, but I'll try to make it funny. Also sorry for the shortness of the first chapter. BTW This chapter is just note-passing between Sasuke and Naruto...This also has alot more cussing than Untold Story, just as a warning! Enjoy!**

Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own Naruto. all characters (c) Masashi Kishimoto

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**Naruto High School Chronicles (NHS)**

**Chapter 1 : Dammit Naruto!**

"And that's how to disengage a mine...any questions?" Kakashi's one eye closed in a smile. As the gray-haired man looked out over the large 10th grade History class, the students all sat completly bored shitless...basically, doing one of three things:

_1.Sleeping/ picking their noses/Drooling on school property_

_2.Passing notes/Copying homework_

_3.Being good little teacher suck-ups and taking notes._ Tch and Like _Kakashi _gives a shit...

...And what are our two main characters up to? Take a wild guess:

Sasuke!

Hey…I heard about the Principle! OMFG

-Naruto

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Naruto, 

LIES!

-Sasuke

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Sasuke, 

OH PLEASE...you know…your mom and him in bed together!

...C'mon, you can't be _that _oblivious.

-Naruto

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Idiot, 

Dammit….who the hell told you?!

-Sasuke

* * *

Sasuke, 

Um….I'm not allowed to tell…?

p.s I'm coming over to your house tonight. I burnt my ramen again and the apartment smells like chicken-flavored shit

-Naruto

* * *

Idiot, 

Hn…DO YOU WANT ME TO **DE-BALL** YOU?!

p.s WTF?! First of all, how do you burn RAMEN!? Second, you can't just decide you're gonna stay at someone's house without asking first you retard.

-Sasuke

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Sasuke, 

Oo um…no. I still CAN'T tell you though.

p.s C'mon…It doesn't matter, your mom loves me!

-Naruto

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Naruto, 

Tell me Naruto…or else, at Lunch...you're **DEAD.**

p.s Not once she finds out you know about her and the creepy principle's love fest.

-Sasuke

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Sasuke, 

ZOMG Don't hurt me!

p.s Shit…I didn't think about that

Naruto

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Naruto, 

Then TELL ME

p.s I guess you can stay over…only if you promise not to tell anyone else.

-Sasuke

* * *

Sasuke, 

Hm…ok…but….don't say anything! I don't want to get my face shoved in the toilet.

ok, Um…it was Deidara…I think Itachi told him?

-Naruto

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BASTARD, 

Fuck! I hate you and I'm so going to kick his ass.

p.s WTF?! I didn't know you were friends with Deidara?

-Sasuke

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Sasuke, 

Nooooo! Don't tell them! I'm allergic to dying!

p.s well, we're acquaintances I guess. He's in my Art class and he knows you're my best friend so...

-Naruto

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Naruto, 

What…are you seriously afraid of the seniors?

p.s Damn…what is this some kind of evil plot my brother devised to ruin my ego?

-Sasuke

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Sasuke, 

YES, they're bigger than us, much more reckless…and c'mon, this is ITACHI'S POSSY we're talking about! They're like, the biggest delinquents in school! I think even the friggin' principle is afraid of them…which once you think about it…that's the only reason why Itachi would be able to get away with telling everyone about your mom and the big P, you know?

p.s Yeah..it probably is…but still, I'm here for ya buddy!

-Naruto

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Naruto, 

Itachi's a loser…and the Principle could beat them in an ugly-pedophile contest any day.

p.s oh yeah…THAT makes me feel _SO_ MUCH better Naruto

P.s.s Um, "big P"? _Never_ again…

-Sasuke

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Sasuke, 

Mr.Orochimaru does really scare me…you better make sure he doesn't get your mom pregnant or anything…'shivers'

p.s Hey! Are you saying I'm not dependable?

P.s.s. I thought it sounded cool…?

-Naruto

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Naruto, 

Ok…can we please get OFF that subject…? What's the teach bitching about anyways?

p.s You're kidding, right?

P.s.s Dude…if you think that's "cool" you need to go see a therapist.

-Sasuke

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Sasuke, 

Um…what…have you not been taking notes? We're reviewing for tomorrow's HSA you dumbass!

p.s I AM DOWNRIGHT OFFENDED!

-Naruto

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Naruto, 

Great…GREAT. My mom's gonna fucking kill me if I fail those dammit! Let me see your notes!

p.s Go die in a corner

-Sasuke

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Sasuke, 

Go die in a corner? And you seriously expect me to give you my notes now?

I R-E-F-U-S-E

P.s Hmpf…Maybe I WILL

-Naruto

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Naruto, 

Stop kidding around and give me your notes dammit!

p.s Go ahead, I'll throw you a fucking funeral

-Sasuke

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Sasuke, 

Fine, geez…Just don't let Kakashi-Sensei see you copying…or he'll pull that _finger-of-doom-up-your-sorry-cheating-ass_ thingy.

P.s There better be flowers! And dancing Canadian monkeys!

-Naruto

* * *

Naruto, 

Okies…Damn, if only I had some sort of power that would let me copy things just by looking at them…

p.s THERE ARE NO FUCKING MONKEYS IN CANADA!

-Sasuke

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Sasuke, 

Hahaha…In your dreams, idiot.

p.s Who says?

-Naruto

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Naruto, 

The bell's about to ring…Lunch is gonna be real fun today. I'll give you back your notes en el almuerzo yes?

p.s If you'd pay attention in Anko's Chemistry class you'd know dumbass

-Sasuke

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Sasuke, 

Almuerzo? What is that Spanish or something? And fine, just don't you rip 'em or anything…

p.s Excuse me…Anko's _so_ friggin' boring…I usually sleep in her class

P.s.s what do you mean lunch will be fun today?

-Naruto

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Naruto, 

Yeah it's Spanish for lunch…what are you retarded? (Oh wait, never mind)

…But dude, you're in Spanish class with me! What the hell?!

p.s I like Chemistry…we get to mix up things that could potentially explode and kill us all…and I _know_ you sleep in her class; I'm usually the one to smack up upside the head to wake you up every day

P.s.s …oh_, you'll see_

-Sasuke

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Sasuke, 

Oh…right. I don't get how you can pay so little attention during school, still end up with better grades _and_ get all the girls when you're so damn drunk half the time! I hate you!

p.s You're so emo…what…are you just _waiting_ for the day someone screws up big time and we all disintegrate/or become genetically altered superheroes…like the Fantastic Four? F-R-E-A-K

P.s.s Sasuke…_what the hell are you planning?!_

-Naruto

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Naruto, 

I am not drunk half the time! You just can't accept the fact that I'm _better _than you!

…oh, you forgot the fact that I can_ drive._

_P.s bullseye beotch_

_P.s.s Oh…looks like that's the bell…see ya at lunch! (I would wear a poncho) _

_-_Sasuke

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**A/N: Ok this is the first chapter...we'll see how this story works out LOL**


	2. Crap, It's an ALLOUTWAR!

**A/N: Okies,here's the second chapter...sorry if it sounds bad, I didn't have time to edit (And my friend is too lazy to help XD) it so...Don't hurt me!**

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**Chapter 2:** _Crap!_ It's an **_ALL-OUT-WAR!_**

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"Hmm...What the hell is Sasuke planning…?" Naruto was finishing up at his locker before heading to meet his raven-haired friend at lunch. "...And…" He muttered to himself, balling his fists in frustration. "I DON'T HAVE A PONCHO!"

"N-naruto…?" The blonde caught the attention of Hinata Hyuga, as she stood behind the boy as he repeatedly hit his locker, cussing profusely.

"AGH! _Damn you_ Sasuke…**DAMN YOU**…Wait…what…?" The blonde turned around, noticing the girl, a fellow sophomore, blinking in confusion. "_H-Hinata_?! What're you doin' here?!" Hinata blushed, feverishly looking to the floor in attempt to avoid his stare. "Eh…Hinata-Chan…"

"H-hai…" She muttered.

"Eh…You have this lunch shift…right!?" The girl hesitantly nodded in retort, still beat-red. "y Um...Ya wanna walk with me?" The blonde smiled brightly as the girl's eyes widened.

'M-me…?! _He _wants to walk…with _me_…!? OMFG what do I do…!' The violet-haired teen turned even redder, eventually just stapping back and nodding weakly. Even though he was a very nice person...Naruto is technicaly considered one of the 'badass punks' simply because he hung out with Sasuke constantly...the Uchiha...is considered right below Itachi's group status-wise..._Why_ exactly? Well,that's probably the eigth wonder of the world right there. Anyways...

"Ok, Cool!" Naruto grinned even wider. The pair started heading towards the cafeteria when the blonde turned to her again. "Hinata...You wouldn't happen to have a poncho on you...?" The girl looked down.

"Eh…Why…?"

"Sasuke told me to-"

"Sasuke-Sama?"

"Yup yup…he said he was-" The boy paused as he opened the cafeteria doors. Sasuke was standing on one of the tables grinning with five or six double-lunches scattered around him. Gaara stood behind him on the floor with his hand to his forehead. "Ohno…" Naruto's mouth gaped open. "HIT THE DECK DAMMIT!" The blonde flailed, grabbing Hinata and diving for the floor just as he heard a very loud;

"FEAR ME BITCHES!" Naruto's best friend threw a huge hand full of mashed potatoes at an unsuspecting Neji.

A loud, **SpLaT**…Was heard when the veggie's hit the back of his head. The target turned around violently and fumingly grabbed a handful of rice. "WHO THREW THAT?!" He yelled, looking around. All was silent. **"WHO THE FUCK THREW THAT?!"** Everyone in the cafeteria were scared shitless, all pointing to Sasuke who was laughing his ass off, still on the table. "…_YOU_…" Neji growled, steam emitted from the Hyuga boy's nostrils as he dropped the rice, instead grabbing his _entire flipping tray_ of food and chucking it at the attackers face. Sasuke, of course, instantly ducked and the foodstuffs hit Gaara instead. Everyone in the cafeteria gasped and it became deadly quiet. The red-haired boy silently wiped the food off himself, glaring daggers between Neji who was now sweating profusely…and _Sasuke_, who didn't give a _shit_. This hate-fest went on for several moments when suddenly, someone way in the back stood up.

**"FOOOOOOOD FIIIIIIIGHT!"** It was none other than Deidara, shouting as he chucked entire hand-fulls of any food he could get his hands on. He hit several Juniors gathered at the table in front of him. They all screamed (they were mostly girls), throwing their lunches back at him. The blonde Senior skid out of the way, and the flying-food smacked right into Sasori. At that instant the entire cafeteria burst into an all-out war. Half of the kids laughing their asses off, and the other half throwing each other's food. Naruto and Hinata ducked under the closest table, exchanging horribly confuzzled glances.

"Sasuke…_WHY_?!" The blonde said to himself. Hinata just shrugged, ducking from incoming peas. And that's where the pair hid for a majority of the fight, until;

"HEY BLONDIE!" Sasuke's head appeared under the table. Well…he was upside down looking in from the top.

"WHAAAAAAA!" Naruto jumped, hitting his head in the top of the table. "Dammit Sasuke! You're drunk again….AREN'T YOU?!" The Uchiha just grinned, grabbing the blonde by the shoulder and pulling him out.

"C'mon, don't be a pussy…_Fight with meh_!" Sasuke triumphantly yelled.

"I hate you…"

"Luffs ya too!" Was the only reply, as Sasuke smashed a pudding cup in Naruto's face, cracking up. Naruto growled, kicking the boy in the gut. "OW! That hurt, dammit!" Sasuke shouted, grabbing Naruto and pinning him to the ground. Food was still flying everywhere, so much so that you had to dodge something every few seconds.

"OW! Dammit Sasuke…Get off a me or your balls are next!"

"No!"

"Sasuke! Get off of me you drunk bastard!"

"No!"

"OMG RAPE!"

"Naruto!" Hinata blinked, staring at the two teens "wrestling" on the food-stained floor.

"N-no Hinata! It's not what it looks like…"

"Naruto…" Sasuke suddenly whispered, getting way too close to the blonde's face. Naruto gulped, shaking on the ground while still under the boy's grip. "Come closer…I have something I've always wanted to do…"

"S-S-Sasuke…what're you-" The raven-haired boy just smirked playfully.

**SMASH**

"AUGH! UCHIHA!" Naruto immediately recoiled, feverishly wiping the cream-filled cupcake snack off of his face. Hinata giggled lightly at the sight.

"Gotcha Dobe! Hahaha!" Sasuke smirked, pointing at the fuming boy.

"UCHIHA! I WILL GET MY REVENGE!" A voice suddenly screamed out of nowhere. Startled, Sasuke looked directly upwards to find Neji soaring over him in mid-pounce.

"Oh my god…!" He yelled, skidding out of the way. The Hyuga boy ended up landing on top of Naruto, who yelped in surprise.

"Agh! W-what the-NEJI?! What the hell are you-?"

"SASUKE!" Neji completely ignored the blonde, sitting up and growling at the confused Uchiha standing before him.

"Dude…What's your beef?" Sasuke replied with his arms crossed, obviously not impressed.

"YOU..." The boy retorted. "YOU ST-"

"Sasuke! Look out!"

"Hn?"

**SPLAT**

"WHAAAAHHHHH!"

**POOMPH**

"Oof! What the-UCHIHA?! Get off of me you gay little-"

"Wh…?! Gaara…where did you…?" Gaara just glared at the boy on top of him. Sasuke had pie all over his face and clothes and he was glaring at Gaara as well.

"…can someone please get Sasuke bastard off of me…" The red-haired sophomore muttered completely toneless.

"Keep yer pants on panda-boy…" Sasuke replied, removing himself and rolling his eyes. Naruto pushed Neji off of him and stood up as well, seeing Sasuke dusting himself off. The raven-haired boy eventually climbed back up on the nearest table and scanned the entire cafeteria. "Ok…_Who threw the pie_?!" He yelled. No one seemed to hear him, as the food continued flying and he had to evade yet another baked-good. "Rrrr…" He growled, turning back around to Naruto. The blonde just shrugged so Sasuke sighed, and simply turned back around, straightening himself up and taking a deep breath. **"**_**WHO**_** THREW THE DAMN **_**PIE**_**?!" **He roared. The whole cafeteria went silent, blinking at the Uchiha…two particular figures quickly ducked under their table. Sasuke's eyes immediately caught sight of them and he leisurely jumped off the counter, making a beeline toward the pair.

"Oh no…" Gaara sighed. "I _told _him not to do it…but he _did_…he just _had_ to start a damn food fight and _now_ he's gonna get himself _killed_…why…_WHY?!"_

"Sasuke…Don't!" Naruto shouted, an arm reaching towards him in vain. Sasuke smirked evilly as he made his way over.

"Well…that's Sasuke for ya…I guess…" Neji muttered, watching the Uchiha.

"…heh…" He glared at the two shaking "victims". Suddenly, one of them attempted to flee and Sasuke immediately attacked. "GrrrrrrRR_RRAAAAAAA_!" The 16 year old Uchiha yelled as he went soaring through the air at one of the attackers. "Naruto, get over here and hold 'em for me!"

"Aw crud…" Naruto muttered, as he ran over the help him, sweating. "Sasuke stop it! It was just a _pie_ for god's sake!"

"A pie that is now in a _very uncomfortable place_ thank you very much!" Sasuke screamed back. "Help me beat the sit outta him or _you'll _be next dobe!" The Uchiha growled, grabbing the person by the scruff of the neck.

"B-but-"

"UCHIHA SASUKE! GET YOUR SORRY ASS OVER HERE…" The whole cafeteria went completely silent again as Sasuke stopped in his tracks, dropping the poor kid like he was a rag-doll.

"…Shit…It's the pedophile…" He muttered.

"_What _did you just call me…?"

"Nothing…Oro…what do you want…?"

"You _do not_ talk to your_ principal_ that way mister! Now get over here before I_ suspend_ you…and that's if you're _lucky_!" Mr.Orochimaru growled, furiously pointing to the ground in front of him. Sasuke sighed, putting his hands in his pockets and taking his sweet time walking over to the man. Oro grabbed Sasuke by the ear and the two turned towards the door and headed out. But the principal (Or "Big P." as Naruto says) turned around once more before leaving, to glare at the rest of the petrified students. "…And as for all of YOU people." He growled. "THIS WHOLE ROOM BETTER BE SPOTTLESS BEFORE I GET BACK OR YOU'RE_ ALL_ GETTING PHONE CALLS TO YOUR PARENTS!" Neji and Gaara sweat-dropped and Naruto gulped. Orochimaru then met eyes with the whiskered-boy, and the blonde sat straight up, sweating. "You…eh...Sasuke's little friend…you're coming too."

"…Oooh…Good luck _Blondie_…" Gaara muttered. Naruto slowly stood up, shaking and followed to two out the door.

"SEE YA BITCHES!" Sasuke yelled, saluting the whole student body before getting dragged out the door. "Ow ow ow! Hey! Watch it pal!" Sasuke muttered, wincing as his ear turned bright red. Naruto slapped a hand to his forehead as Sasuke glanced back at Naruto with a 'Help me!' looked spread across his face. Naruto just shrugged and ran to catch up with them...I mean, what else could he do...?

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**A/N: Well...all I have t say is...On to chapter three!**


	3. The Principal's Office

**Okies, here ya go chapter three **

**

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**

**Chapter 3 – The Principle's Office**

"Crap...crap, crapcrapcrapcrapcrap_crapppppppp_!" Naruto frantically muttered to himself all the way to the office. Sasuke, on the other hand was practically _griping_ in pain.

"H-holy shit…_Owwww_!" He glared daggers at the butt-ugly principal who was still pinching the Uchiha's ear quite harshly.Mr.Orochimaru eventually threw open the door to his office and shoved the pair of sophomores onto a couple of chairs, sitting down at his desk and giving them a stern glare. Naruto gulped.

"_Soooo….."_ The principal smirked evilly. "…Wanna tell me exactly what happened back there?" Sasuke growled, slumping down in the chair and looking at the floor. "Anybody…?" Orochimaru asked. "Hmm….Sasuke…?"

"…_what_…"

"Why don't you tell me…_everything_…" The principal had a sudden twinkle in his eye. Naruto felt the hair stand on the back of his head and Sasuke just grumbled out something. "What was that…?" Oro just stared at him. Once again, the boy muttered something incoherent. "…come again…?"

"FUCK.YOU." Sasuke snapped. Naruto almost jumped out of his seat in surprise and the principal blinked in confusion.

"Tsh…" Orochimaru tapped his finger impatiently on the desk, shaking his head and staring at the two teens. "You're a _very_ lucky boy…_Uchiha_." He said, leaning towards them over his desk.

"……"

"D-don't suspend us Big P!!!" Naruto got on his knees and begged. "We have a gig tonight!" Seeing this, Sasuke grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt and yanked him back up.

"_What_…are you _doing_?!" He whispered harshly in the blonde's ear. The principal just raised an eyebrow and Naruto shrugged.

"Ah…yes…your little_ band_…"Oro cackled lightly. "How's that going Sasuke?"

"That's none of your business."

"hm…well…good luck with that tonight…" The man laced his fingers together, looking back up at them. "Mind if I ask where you're playing?"

"Once again…_none-of-your-business_…ya old fart." Sasuke retorted blankly.

"W-wait…so you're not gonna punish us?!" Naruto looked up.

"_AHEM_…Well…I _can't_ really punish you two anyways…"

"…Hn?!" Sasuke's head perked up at his comment.

"You know…that would just be more stress for your lovely mother…" The principle looked thoughtfully at the ceiling. Sasuke shuddered. "…That poor woman has to deal with _you_ on a daily basis…why add to her stress…_am I right_…?" He replied, gesturing to the Uchiha, who huffed.

"yeah, great…can I leave now…?"

"hm…You may leave…but don't think you can just walk around here doing anything you want, or I'll get you…_my little pretty_…" The principle licked his lips, waving goodbye; Sasuke just rolled his eyes and closed the office door behind him. The blonde was already waiting for him in the hallway as the bell rang, shuddering at the thought of what just happened when Sasuke caught up.

"…hey…"

"What do you mean _"Hey"_ ?!" Sasuke said, smacking the boy behind the head.

Naruto glared back at him like "_WTF_?!"

"_Why _did you bring up our stupid gig tonight?!"

"W-what?"

"God forbid he asks my mom where the hell we're gonna be and he suddenly _shows up there_?!" The boy replied, getting all in Naruto's face.

"A-ah…I'm sorry Sasuke!" The Uchiha just rolled his eyes.

"Next time…let _me_ do the talking,_ ok_?"

"…h-hai…" Naruto looked down. "Wow…I can't believe that took all of fourth period…"

"…Idiot…get in the car." Sasuke said, pushing him through the door to the Uchiha's black vehicle.

"ok, ok…geez!"

-------------------------

_**-a few hours later**__-_

_Click…click_

"…Hey Sasuke…check this out!" Naruto pointed to the computer, Sasuke slowly walked over and stared at the video playing on the screen. The blonde was staying over at Sasuke's apartment for the night; which they do every Friday before a show anyways.

"…They're skinning animals…" He said, raising a disgusted eyebrow. "Eww…and why are you showing me this?"

"Just…look at it!" The blonde exclaimed, spazzing all over the screen. "They have all those little foxes and chinchillas and other cute little animals in all those tiny cages n'stuff!"

"……"

"…and look, they're ripping their skin off…with knives…while they're still alive, Sasuke!"

"…why…?"

"It says they're using them for…furs."

"……" Sasuke just blinked at the screen, expressionless.

"Agh…_Sasuke_!"

"What?!"

"It's happening in that old warehouse a few blocks away…! Lookie, says right here!"

No reply. The two boys just sat there awkwardly for what seemed like ten minuets.

"…heh…" Sasuke just laughed, putting his head down.

"What?! What's so funny…?" Naruto exclaimed. Sasuke just shook his head. "Sasuke!"

"Get in the car, Dobe."

"Wh-what?!"

Sasuke smirked, grabbing his keys. "Get-in-the-car."

"Really?! Sweet!" The blonde hopped up from the chair, smiling.

"Oh, get your guitar…just in case we don't get back in time." Sasuke said, grabbing his and running out the door.

------------------------------------------

Sasuke hopped in the front seat, buckling himself in and turning the car on. Naruto sat beside him after loading everything in the back.

"Hey…Sasuke…"

"…yeah…?"

"What…what's in that mug?" the blonde said, pointing to a drink Sasuke had just put in the cup holder.

"What do ya think, dobe?" He replied, pulling out of the lot and skidding onto the road.

"Oh god…GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Naruto immediately unbuckled and thrust open the car door while Sasuke was driving down the road. There was a loud honk from a passing car. The Uchiha angrily turned to him; grabbing him by the shirt and yanking him back in.

"You're not _going_ anywhere." He growled. "The beer's for later…so calm down for god's sake!" He said, rolling his eyes. "and……_SHUT THE DOOR DAMMIT_!" Sasuke yelled, swerving out of the way of a pedestrian about to get rammed by the open car door.

"WAAGH!"

**SLAM**

"……Thank you…"

A few more minuets went by without another word from either of them.

"…Th-there it is!" Naruto suddenly yelled. "That's the building, right there!" The blonde pointed to a worn down warehouse with white paint which was peeling everywhere. The few windows it had were cracked or boarded up, and there was grass poking through the cracks in the pavement.

"oh…what a nice place." Sasuke muttered, pulling into an alleyway right next to the decrepit building and parking the car. "C'mon, it's already dark out…" The Uchiha whispered, slipping something into his pocket and walking towards the structure.

"M-maybe this isn't such a good idea…" Naruto stuttered, creeping behind hid friend.

"_Relax_…All we have to do is-_WAHHHH!"_

"Sasuke!"

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**A/N: Well thennnhope you enjoyed this chapter! - Plz Reveiw! I'd really appreciate it!**


	4. Fluffy Balls of Orangeness!

**A/N: Alrighty, here's chapter four, it's pretty retarded...but, hope you like it LOL! oh and please reveiw, I'd really appreciate it! -**

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**Chapter 4 – Fluffy Balls of Orangeness!**

Naruto swerved around in terror at Sasuke, half-expecting there to be a shady man holding a knife to the Uchiha's throat. Yet the raven-haired boy just kneeled down on one knee and looked towards the ground.

"S-Sasuke?! What the hell _was_ that…are you ok?!" the blonde exclaimed, running over to his friend.

"Hn…? What?" Sasuke muttered, looking up at the boy. Naruto blinked at him, confused. "Oh…heh, I had a rock in my shoe…a really pointy one at that…" He muttered, holding the object up to his face and glaring at it. Naruto fell over anime-style.

"Y-you've got to be kidding me." He said, slapping a hand to his forehead. "Damn… You're such a gay drama-queen!"

"Yes…_yes I am_." Sasuke said, smirking and flipping his hair. Naruto just rolled his eyes and grabbed Sasuke's arm.

"Are we going in or what?" He exclaimed, pulling his friend towards the door.

"Ok." Sasuke mumbled as the two opened the rusty entrance, but hesitated about half-way into the doorway. "…N-Naruto, before we go in there and potentially die a horrible death…I just want to tell you something."

"Yes?"

"You're…

"_Yes?"_

"…an idiot." He said smirking and ruffling the blonde's hair.

"AGH! I HATE YOU!" Naruto growled, instantly attacking the boy. Sasuke just threw his arm out and held the boy's forehead so he couldn't move any farther no matter how much he tried.

"Naruto, you do know I have a knife in my pocket…_right_?" The raven-haired boy smirked evilly as Naruto instantly stopped struggling and sweat-dropped.

"Okies…um…" The blonde stepped back and glared back at him.

"Yeah, MOVE DOBE." Sasuke said, shoving him through the doorway.

--------------------

The old warehouse was dark…really; _really_ dark…

"Sasuke!" Naruto suddenly yelled.

"What?"

"I can't see my hands!"

"Okay…What do you want _me_ to do about it?!"

"W-well…I was just-"

"Go…find a light switch or something!"

"Why don't you!?"

"…Hn…"

"Hn? That's not an answer! I don't even know what the hell that means!"

"Naruto…" Sasuke muttered in a threatening tone. "Go-find-a-light-switch-_NOW_."

"Tch…FINE, I'll _try_…you lazy bastard." The blonde grumbled, irritated and reaching out for anything to grab on to. Several minuets went by as he tried feeling around for a switch of some sort with no luck. Meanwhile Sasuke leaned against the wall with his arms crossed and sighed.

"Ugh…it smells like dog shit in here…"

"AGH, WOULD YOU SHUT UP AND_ HELP _ME?!"

"Ok, ok…geez!" Sasuke rolled his eyes and joined his friend.

--------------------

**-Several **_**long **_**minuets later-**

"HOLY GEEZ!"

"What?!"

"I think I found one!"

"A light switch?" Sasuke stood straight up.

"No Sasuke…I found a rabid cat…" The blonde sighed irritably.

"…what…?"

"Yes…YES Sasuke, I _think _I've found a _lightswitch_, ya retard."

"Well…?"

**Click**

"AAAAGGGGHHHHHHHH!" Naruto jumped straight up at the sudden loud sound coming from behind him.

"What the-"

"It BURNS!"

"Sasuke?"

"AAAGGGHHHHHH!"

"Omfg Sasuke!"

"AH! Ahaha….argh…Hn…hn…Hoo, hoo…ahem, Okies…it's all good." The Uchiha stood up, dusting himself off and clearing his throat.

"Dude…what are you, albino?!"

"NO! My eyes just…don't like light…" He retorted. "Especially when it flashes all at once."

"Aw! Looks at all the cuteness!"

"Naruto."

"ZOMG…That one's so fluffy!"

"Naruto."

"EEP! I luff them ALL!"

"Dude…? Were you even listening to me…?"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"_o-k_…" Sasuke sighed, watching his friend spazz all over the place, crossing his arms and taking a good look around him. Naruto was right, there were well over a hundred animals of various species locked in tiny cages…and, as much as the raven-haired teen hated to admit it…they were uber cute.

"Sasuke!"

"…what…"

"EEP! Hee hee…"

"……"

"OMG SASUKE."

"Hn…_what_…"

"omg EEP! Aww…yeah…"

"Um…N-Naruto…"

"HEEP! tee hee hee…"

"DUDE! CUT IT OUT! YA SOUND LIKE A LITTLE GIRL MASTERBATING OVER HER UNICORN COLLECTION!"

"Hm…?" Naruto turned towards the fuming boy. "…eh…but Sasuke…g-"

"_I-Don't-Care-Dobe_." The boy growled, cutting the boy off.

"…_ok_ then…" Naruto quickly turned away and continued to gaze into all the cages one by one. Sasuke huffed, crossing his arms and slowly following behind the whiskered boy. He passed by several chinchillas, artic foxes, rabbits mink, even a few wolves, but the only cage the Uchiha hesitated at…even for a second, was a cage was at the end of the third row.

"Hey, Dobe…C'mere."

"Hm…?" Naruto's head perked up as he made his way over. "What is it…?"

"Look."

"It's a little fox kit." The blonde grumbled. "tee hee…IT'S SO ADORABLE!"

"…hn…"

"I wanna hold it!"

"…Naruto, what if it like…has rabies…or something…" Sasuke muttered.

"Naw…look at 'em." Naruto said as he opened the cage and picked the animal up. The fox just blinked at the blonde boy and sniffed him.

"Eew…what the hell…?" Sasuke muttered, staring at it.

"What?"

"It's got three legs!"

"Aw yeah! It's cute!"

"It's not a guy fox." The Uchiha continued. Naruto lifted the animal up and looked at it's um…under parts…

"IT'S A BITCH!" Sasuke cringed at the boy's loud voice as it echoed through the warehouse.

"…you mean a _vixen_?" Sasuke said, crossing his arms. "You're such an idiot."

"Whatever…hold it Sasuke!"

"I'd rather not-AGH!" Naruto shoved the baby into the boy's arms and ran away.

"W-waitaminuet! What am I supposed to do with it?!"

There was no answer.

"…hn…" Sasuke sighed and looked at the little orange ball of fluff in his arms. _"…lovely_…" He muttered. The fox looked at him and blinked. "What're you lookin' at…?" the animal just blinked and licked Sasuke's face.

"Ahahahaha! She likes you Sasuke!"

"That or I taste like chicken." He retorted. "Take it back."

"What? No…"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not putting it back in that tiny little cage!" The two just looked at each other long and hard.

"On no…" Sasuke exclaimed, taking a step back. "We're NOT gonna keep this thing!"

"Then what are we gonna do with her! She's got no _mommy_!"

"Dude."

"Besides…she's got three legs...! It's disabled!"

"……"

"C'mon…you can't be_ that_ heartless Sasuke!" The Uchiha sighed, looked back down at the little orange ball in his arms.

"fine."

"YES!" The blonde grinned from ear to ear, grabbing the baby fox back from him and hugging it.

"But I swear to god…you bring that thing to my house and it pees on my mom's carpet…YOU'RE DEAD."

"Okies."

"…And I'm not buying food or toys or picking its shit up…or-"

"OKAY! I get it, geez! She'll be my total responsibility!"

"Now, what about the rest of these critters."

"What everybody in those crazy stories do!"

"What are you saying…?"

"DUH! WE BREAK IN THE CAGES AND SET 'EM FREE! Give me your knife!"

"WHAT?!"


	5. Cheese

**Alrighty, Here's chapter 5! I tried to make it as funny as possible..but I'm kinda depressed..whatever LOL enjoy!**

* * *

**NHSC Chapter 5 - Cheese**

"You expect me to trust _you_ with a _**knife**_?!" Sasuke yelled, frantically waving his arms around.

"Hellz yeah! Give it over!" Naruto retorted, grabbing for the item hiding in the Uchiha's pocket. Sasuke quickly grabbed the weapon and held it up in the air. The Uchiha smirked evilly, watching Naruto as he stood there a growled glaring at the knife above his head. "No fair you bastard! You're taller than me!"

"…and your point…?"

"SASUKE!"

"Calm down you psycho…geez." Sasuke raised an eyebrow at the fuming boy. "We don't need a knife to open the cages!"

"…but its cooler…" The blonde replied, making a pouty face.

"Dammit…just hurry up and set the hairballs free…we're gonna be late for our show you idiot!"

"Tch...You're no fun…" Naruto sighed, opening cages one-by-one as he passed them. Sasuke stood by the door, holding the little fox pup in his arms and watching his friend set to work. All the animals immediately jumped out of the cells and ran around the warehouse frantically for a way out.

"Stupid animals…Hey, Door's over here ya mutts!" The raven-haired boy yelled, holding the door wide open. All the animals looked at him, then ran straight for the opening.

All at once.

"Waaagh!" Sasuke jumped out of the way before he was trampled, almost dropping the little vixen in the process.

"_Death by mini-stampede_…haha…that would 'a made the front page!" Naruto laughed as he stopped in front of his friend. Sasuke was against the wall trying to catch his breath.

"takethestupidfoxdobe." He mumbled all in one breath, shoving the thing in Naruto's face.

"Okies!"

"Let's get outta here before we get arrested or something."

"Okies!"

"Oh, and don't forget to turn the lights off."

"Okies!"

"…Stop saying that!"

"……"

"……"

"Um…Okies!"

"ARGH!"

"What?!"

"J-just…get in the car!"

_VRRROOOOMMM_

* * *

"……"

-Sigh-

"…Hn…"

"What should we name her?"

"…what…?" Sasuke glanced at the boy seated next tom him. "Oh…that orange fuzzy-thing."

"Hmm…I like Queso!"

"…you're kidding me…" Sasuke slapped a hand to his forehead. "You're _not _naming that poor thing cheese!"

"…But she likes it."

"Wha-how do you know?!"

"…I gave her some…and she ate it…and she _liked_ it…yup yup."

"But just because-"

_Poot_

"ARGH!"

"Eew!" Naruto laughed. "She farted…!"

"Oh god! Open the windows!" Sasuke slammed his fist down on the little buttons on the door and the windows to the car flew open. The Uchiha then jerked around to the blonde, covering his mouth. "I'm already regretting this." He sighed, pulling up to a house.

"What…? We're here already?!"

"_Yeah_, now go get him." Sasuke glared daggers at Naruto.

"_Ok_…geez!" The blonde rolled his eyes, walking up to the huge mansion-like house and ringing the doorbell. A red-haired figure soon answered, and the two looked at each other for a long moment.

"_Naruto_."

"…_Gaara_…" The blonde said invitingly as Gaara threw a huge round box at him. "Sasuke! Get out here and help us load the stupid drums!" the blonde exclaimed.

"…and leave this animal in _my_ car _alone_?! I don't think so."

"Bastard!"

"Dobe!"

"RETARDS!" Gaara yelled, yanking open the trunk and throwing a box in.

"Hey hey! Careful back there!" Sasuke exclaimed, annoyed.

"Shut it Uchiha!" Gaara retorted, angrily grabbing another box from Naruto.

"Sasuke…get your sorry ass out here and_ help_ us!"

"Dammit…FINE!" The Uchiha huffed, slamming the car door behind him.

…_Trickle…_

--Insert awkward silence here--

"_OH NO YOU DIDN'T!"_ Sasuke screamed, turning to the fox whom was still in the car. "I'm gonna KILL you!" He yelled, launching himself back at the little animal. "ARGH Letgoofmedammit!"

"You damn Uchihas are all the same." Gaara muttered, gripping the collar of Sasuke's shirt.

"NO! Don't hurt my little Queso-kun!" Naruto grabbed the fox and cuddled it in his arms.

"…overactive…" Gaara held on finger on his free hand up in the air.

"IT-JUST-PISSED-IN-MY-CAR! MY SEATS ARE RUINED…_RUINED_!"

"…loud…" The red-haired teen held a second finger up.

"S-she didn't mean to!" The blonde screamed in the fox's defense.

"Speak for yourself Dobe! She totally did it on purpose…! Just waiting for that ONE moment where I left the dumb bitch alone!"

"…stupid…"

"I thought you said she was a_ vixen_!!"

"F.U Naruto!"

"…pissy attitude…"

"GRAWR!" Sasuke instantly launched himself at the blonde.

"Agh! Get away from me!' Naruto frantically ran around Gaara's front yard, followed by a fuming Uchiha with a large knife in his hand. Gaara just sighed and picked up another large drum-box.

"…superiority complexes…"

"HELP ME!"

"I'm _bigger_ than you, _faster_ than you…and _much_ stronger! Just give me the stupid animal before I _stab _you _and_ that orange thing to death!"

"…damn…ran out of fingers…" Gaara sighed, looking at his free hand.

"_WOULD YOU SHUT IT GAARA!" _Sasuke screamed, changing his course and heading straight for the red-haired boy.

"Would _you_ get in the damn _car_?!"He retorted, arms crossed. Sasuke was still charging at the boy. Unfazed, Gaara simply held his arm out in front of him and stared at the Uchiha, who stopped in his tracks an inch away from the boy's arm, growling. "Sasuke…put the knife away. Do you want to be late?"

"Happy now Sasuke! Look, I cleaned it up!" Naruto yelled, waving around a soggy paper towel. He was already sitting in the front seat, holding Queso in his arms. Sasuke looked back and forth between Gaara and Naruto, huffing.

"Fine."

"C'mon! We've still got another person to pick up don't forget!"

"Hn."

* * *

_Ding Dong_

"Hello? Oh…Hi Naruto-Kun!"

"Hey Hinata-Chan! Got your guitar?"

"Yup."

"Alrighty then! Let's go…we're already kinda late as it is…" The boy smirked.

"…oh…well that's not good" Hinata sighed, quickly stuffing her instrument in what room was still left in the trunk, climbed in the back seat next to Gaara, and Sasuke drove off to the band's destination as fast as humanly possible.

* * *

**Har har har, hope you guys liked it.**

**oh...ok...just so you know...Naruto plays base guitar...Sasuke and Hinata play electric and Gaara's on the drums. I bet y'all are suprised that Hinata's in it XD **

**Sasuke is the main singer (His real voice actor sings BTW...but Sasuke is supposed to sound like a teenager in this, not a grown man like he usually does LOL) and Hinata and Naruto sing backup. so, hope that cleared up any confusion!okies, see you next chapter!**


	6. Misery Business

**A/N: W00T! New Chapter! Alright Time for disclaimers, aw yeah Fun stuffs!: I do not own Naruto, Paramore or their songs thxandbye**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 6 – ****Misery Business**

"UCHIHA! Slow down _DAMMIT_!" Gaara yelled, holding onto the seat in front of him. The Uchiha was driving _way_ past the speed limit, nearly rolling the car several times over turns and speeding through a stop light.

"Sasuke! _Listen_ to him!" Naruto agreed, clutching Queso so she wouldn't fly into the windshield.

"S-Sasuke-Sama…" Hinata muttered, petrified and practically gripping the fabric off the seat.

"Would y'all just _shut up_?!" Sasuke exclaimed, growling in frustration. "I _have _to go fast or we're gonna be _late_!"

"I'd rather be late then _DIE_, thank you!" Gaara growled. "NOW SLOW DOWN OR PULL OVER."

"F-U…we're already _here_ my little gang of happiness." The Uchiha muttered, rolling his eyes, throwing open the trunk and grabbing his guitar. The rest followed, grabbing their instruments and walking inside after him.

"Aww…why do we always have to play in a _bar_…?" Naruto sighed.

"It's not a bar this time, _Naruto_…why do you think I _brought _a mug of beer with me this time…?!" The blonde glanced at the covered coffee cup in his friend's hand as they dropped their stuff on the small stage. "It's just a regular restaurant this time…a really popular on at that…meaning people from our school may be here…_so play good dammit_!"

"Yes Sasuke…I'll be sure to play _well _tonight." Naruto smirked while his raven-haired friend snorted in annoyance.

"Alright…let's all_ try_ to get along for once, _Okies_…?" Sasuke stood in front of the three of them as they crossed their arms and sighed.

"I'm tired _already_." Gaara muttered, rubbing the back of his head resignedly.

"…Argh…" Naruto grumbled, still holding Queso.

"…bleh." Hinata stuck her tongue out and Sasuke raised an eyebrow at his little "gang of happiness."

"Okay then…" He rubbed the back of his head feverishly, sweating.

------------------------

By the time everyone was set up, the band was officially a half an hour late from when they were assigned to start. The manager of the restaurant sighed in annoyance as she walked onto the stage, tapping on the microphone before announcing:

"…and now…finally_…Leos Amor Vita_!" The building was jam-packed…Sasuke could see tons of students he recognized from their high school, including…. 'S-Sakura…' He gulped in fear, blushing slightly at the sight of the cherry blossom and her group of friends. He gulped, turning around to the others.

"Y-you ready guys…?" The three of them nodded Gaara on drums and backup vocals, naruto on backup electric and vocals and Sasuke and Hinata on electric for main vocals. The Uchiha stood in the front, hands placed on the instrument and looking out over the unusually large crowd. "One……T-two…" Everyone got in a ready stance to play, Hinata moved the microphone closer to her…they too knew of all the familiar people watching...Including the only person Sasuke had a crush on. The raven-haired boy closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "…Three…!"

_I'm in the business of misery, let's take it from the top  
She's got a body like an hourglass it's tickin' like a clock  
It's a matter of time before we all run out...  
When I thought he was mine, she caught him by the mouth_

_I waited eight long months, she finally set him free  
I told him I couldn't lie, he was the only one for me  
Two weeks and we'd caught on fire  
She's got it out for me, but I wear the biggest smile_

Everyone in the restaurant was watching, wide-eyed at the quartet's skill. Sasuke smirked, glancing over to Hinata who continued singing and playing the strings without even looking. She was a completely different person on stage…lost in the vibrations of her own voice.

Whoa... I never meant to brag  
But I got him where I want him now  
Whoa... it was never my intention to brag  
To steal it all away from you now  
But God does it feel so good  
'Cause I got him where I want him now  
And if you could then you know you would  
'Cause God it just feels so...  
It just feels so good

Second chances they don't ever matter, people never change  
Once a whore, you're nothing more, I'm sorry that'll never change  
And about forgiveness, we're both supposed to have exchanged  
I'm sorry honey, but I passed up, now look this way!

There's a million other girls who do it just like you  
Looking as innocent as possible to get to who  
They want and what they like, it's "easy if you do it right"

Well I refuse, I refuse, I refuse! 

Gaara had his eyes closed, hitting each drum head with nearly perfect precession. Sasuke closed his eyes as well, banging his head slightly to the beats of Gaara's lead. Playing music was the best part of his teenage life; he cherished it and wouldn't trade it for _anything_ else in the world. _Anything._ Smirking, he and Naruto jumped into the air, strumming their instruments loudly at the chorus.

Whoa... I never meant to brag  
But I got him where I want him now  
Whoa... it was never my intention to brag  
To steal it all away from you now  
But God does it feel so good  
'Cause I got him where I want him right now  
And if you could then you know you would  
'Cause God it just feels so...  
It just feels so good...

I watched his wildest dreams come true  
Not one of them involving you  
Just watch my wildest dreams come true  
Not one of them involving...

Whoa, I never meant to brag  
But I got him where I want him now...

Whoa, I never meant brag  
But I got him where I want him now  
Whoa... it was never my intention to brag  
To steal it all away from you now  
But God does it feels so good  
'Cause I got him where I want him now  
And if you could then you know you would  
'Cause God it just feels so...  
It just feels so good 

The four teens practically collapsed from both fatigue and utter astonishment as the entire restaurant practically exploded in applause and cheer. Catching her breath, Hinata smiled brightly at the ovation, turning and pounding fists with Naruto who untied Queso from a pole at the corner of the stage and hugged her tightly.

"Thanks everybody!" The pale-eyes girl said through the microphone as she turned back around and helped the others load up the instruments.

"Shit…we played great!" Sasuke exclaimed, throwing his guitar over his back and heading for the door.

"Hellz yeah!" Naruto smiled. Gaara just smirked and nodded. "Hinata sang great too!" He said, turning to the girl who was now blushing dreadfully red.

"N-Naruto…"

"Hey, Sasuke! Wait up!" The raven-haired boy perked up, turning around to find Sakura running towards them, followed by Temari, Ino and Tenten. Sasuke blushed slightly as she stopped a foot away from him.

"S-Sakura."

"Hey, you guys did awesome tonight." She said, smiling brightly. Naruto grinned evilly and elbowed Gaara in the side, whom turned to him confused.

"See that…?" The blonde muttered pointing to Sakura. Gaara glanced over to Sasuke who was now surrounded by giggling girls. "Sasuke wants her, real bad." Gaara just raised an eyebrow in surprise. (Ok…so he _has_ no eyebrows…_use your imagination dammit_!)

"What…_Uchiha_? Uchiha Sasuke actually _likes_ someone?" Gaara shook his head in disbelief.

"Naruto!" The blonde's head shot up to find Sasuke and Sakura standing in front of him. "What is that thing?" She said, pointing to Queso.

"This is Queso!" Naruto said eagerly. "She's a three-legged baby fox a saved fro-mmmm! Mmmmmpfff!" Sasuke covered the blonde's mouth and smiled weakly.

"Eh heh…excuse us for a moment." He laughed, pulling him and Naruto out of the girl's earshot. Struggling, Naruto eventually wrenched the Uchiha's hand off him.

"WHAT-THE-HELL SASUKE?!" The blonde yelled. Sasuke just made frantic slitting motions across his throat and shook his head, hoping the boy would shut up before the girls noticed. "Why did you do that…?! Just when I was getting attention from females! GEEZ! I was just telling them about Que-"

"_**EXACTLY." **_Sasuke growled, cutting him off. "NO ONE can know what we _did _back there, ok?! If someone finds out WE broke in there and set all those animals free we'll be arrested for life! _ARRESTED_Naruto!"

"Ok, ok….geez." He muttered, turning around and walking back to the girls.

"Where'd you get it?" Sakura giggled, looking back at the fox. "…And why'd you name is after…_Cheese_?" Naruto blinked, glancing at the baby and then at the girl. He didn't want to lie to her…but he also didn't want to get arrested.

"Um…" He said, taking a deep breath. "wegotherataplacewheretheyweregonnaskinalltheanimalsandwesavedherfromitandhernameischeesebecauseitgiveshergasaftersheeatsit." Sakura blinked at him, confused.

"Wait…" She said. " Are you talking about that old mill down-"

"NOOOOOO! ARGH _NARUTO_!" Sasuke whipped back around and lunged himself at the whiskered boy.

"AGH!!!"

"Everyone, get in the damn car!" Sasuke growled at Gaara and Hinata, pointing to the door. "Eh heh…we…we gotta go girls…sorry." The Uchiha smiled weakly, pulling the blonde out the entrance and throwing him in the car, followed by a confused Hinata and a pissed Gaara, who was busy picking up ladies himself. As they all climbed in the black car and left the parking lot, all was completely silent…and extremely awkward for a short while.

"…Naruto…" Sasuke suddenly muttered, shaking slightly, slowly turning to the blonde who was still clutching the fox. Naruto looked up at the raven-haired teen expectantly, sweating.

"Y-yes…?" He muttered weakly.

"I'm going to _**KILL YOU.**_"

* * *

**A/N: Naruto better run...FAST XD anyways, ****If you haven't heard the song it's "Misery Business" by Paramore...GO LOOK IT UP NOW, it's a great song. I laughed imagining Hinata singing it. But Sasuke is HOT playing an electric guitar beh beh! Ah! and ****BTW the name of their band is latin for "lions love life" I didn't have much time to think up a name and Sasuke's a Leo so...yeah, that's what I came out with LOL Hope U guys enjoyed this chapter! Please reveiw, I'd really appreciate it! **


	7. OEKA?

**A/N: Yar har har...here's chapter seven of NHSC, enjoy!**

**Chapter 7 – O.E.K.A?**

"Is everyone clear on what your homework is…?" Mrs.Anko, the art teacher, smiled brightly as she looked over the class, hands on her hips. Art class was fun…for the most part, except for the fact that the teacher was _completely _out of her mind...But then again, once you think about it, aren't _most _art teachers?

_BRRIIINNNNGGGG!_

"Hasta manana, See you tomorrow!" She grinned, picking up random pencils and paint brushes left on the tables as the students pushed their chairs in and ran out of the room. Naruto slowly stood, yawning and wiping a smudge of paint off his face, noticing a blur of black out of the corner of his eye. The blonde turned to face the thing, soon to find himself set over a sleeping Uchiha Sasuke whom was currently drooling all over his desk.

"Mn…"

"S-Sasuke…" He muttered, tapping his shoulder while swinging his blue backpack over one of his. "Sasuke, wake up!"

"Hnm…"

"Sasuke!"

"Not, now…I…I…Argh…A-aah…ooh…too hard…" Naruto's eye twitched at the Uchiha's odd mumblings and he took a step backwards, an eyebrow raised.

'_What the fuck is he __dreamin__g about?!'_

"ARGH…_DAMMIT _SASUKE!" The blonde yelled, whacking the back of the raven-haired boy's head with his notebook.

"WAAGH! Wh-wha…?" Sasuke frantically looked around the classroom, and then directly at Naruto who was standing behind him with his arms crossed. "UZUMAKI!" Sasuke growled, yanking the notebook out of his friend's hand and smacking the blonde back with it.

"Ow! Hey…! I was just waking you up, ya bastard!" Naruto cringed, looking back at the now standing Sasuke with one eye open.

"Wha-?" He muttered, yawning. "Oh, I know…I just felt like hitting you." Sasuke smirked, stuffing his school crap in his backpack and following the blonde out the door.

"I hate you." Naruto growled, scowling.

"Thanks."

"Did you even_ hear_ what Anko-Sensei wanted us to do for _homework_…?" Naruto turned to Sasuke, whom raised an eyebrow.

"Eh…_No_. But knowing _her_ it's probably really weird."

"Well…Yeah, I guess."

"What exactly _does_ she want us to do…?" Sasuke looked back down at the blonde, a confused look on his face.

"Draw a picture of your favorite animal doing…something." The instant Sasuke heard, this wide smirk spread across his face as suddenly bolted for his locker. Startled, Naruto quickly followed after him…He knew _exactly _what that look meant.

"N-No…Sasuke! It's gotta be School appropriate! _SCHOOL APPROPRIATE_!" He yelled, tripping over himself. "Oomph!" He landed flat on his face. "…_ow_…" Naruto shook, struggling to stand and gather his things which were now all over the floor. "D-damn…"

"Is this yours?" A Voice from above him…wait, even better, a_ female's_ voice? Naruto slowly glanced upwards, only to find-

"Oh, Hey Hinata-Chan." The blonde muttered, taking his math book back. She simply smiled and bent over to help him pick up the rest of his supplies.

"Are you ok?" She asked, looking straight at him. Naruto flinched, blushing slightly.

"Y-y-yeah…" He mumbled out, placing the last of the stuff in his pack and standing up next to her. "So…w-what class are you heading too…?"

"Um…just Pre-Vet."

"Really? That sounds so fun!" The blonde perked up, smiling.

"It is…there are lots of class pets too, like rabbits and birds…and sometimes you can bring your pets in to show everyone."

"Cool! I would totally bring Queso in if I had that class." Naruto said. "I wonder how she's doing in my apartment…I haven't left her alone for this long before."

"Tch…hopefully not _pissing_ on anything." Sasuke joined in the conversation from behind them.

"_Thanks _Sasuke. Way to make me feel better." Naruto huffed. Sasuke just ruffled the blonde's hair.

"I'm sure she's _fine_ Dobe." He said. "Now let's get to class before we're late and Kakashi kicks our sorry asses." Sasuke smirked, turning into Kakashi-Sensei's classroom, and looking back at the two teens. "Oh, Hey Hinata."

"Hi Sasuke-San! See you guys at lunch, I guess." She smiled, before continuing down the hallway.

_BRRRIIIIINNNNNGGG!_

"Ack! Get to the seats!" Naruto yelled, pushing Sasuke down at his desk and sitting himself right next to him.

"Hello, my lovely students!" Kakashi exclaimed, walking into the classroom. The class just stared back at him with blank faces. "_Right_ then." He said, rubbing the back of his head. "Today, we're going to learn about-"

"Psst…hey, Naruto!" Sasuke whispered out of the side of his mouth. The blonde turned to him, annoyed.

"What do you want?!"

"You got any gum?"

"No! Why don't you go back to sleep or something?!"

" 'Cuz! I'm not tired!"

"Then shut up and pay attention!"

"Ha, are you kidding? Listening to Kakashi ramble on about Benjamin Franklin is like watching a brick wall grow."

"Wait…B-but brick walls don't-"

"EXACTLY."

"Oh…I guess your right, he is really boring…but I want an 'A' dammit!" He whispered back to the raven-haired boy, annoyed. "Plus…I don't feel like getting a_ detention_ today so, can ya go bother some _other _kid?" Sasuke sighed, turning back to face the front of the classroom were Kakashi was drawing a shitty picture of a turkey.

"W-what the hell…?!" Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Is that supposed to be a turkey or Rock Lee!?"

"I am_ not_ a turkey Sasuke!" A familiar voice whispered from behind the raven-haired teen. Sasuke's eyebrow twitched as he slowly glanced behind him.

"…Lee…" He muttered.

"Yes, Sasuke?" He answered cheerfully.

"Shut up before I _strangle_ you."

"Sasuke!"

"WHAT?!" He whispered harshly, abruptly turning the Naruto.

"I hope you're not trying to start another fight…!"

"I AM _NOT_…"

"_Right_…you remember what happened_ last_ time…_don't_ you…?"

"That wasn't my fault! Kiba started it! And the toilet wouldn't have over flown if his head wasn't so friggin' big!"

"His head wouldn't even have _been_ in the toilet in the_ first_ place if you hadn't _shoved _it in there!"

"His bitchy dog _bit my ass_ and ate my _homework_! I still have a zero for that assignment you know!"

"You're just jealous the _he's_ going out with_ Sakura_!"

"_Boys_…Is there a _problem_…?" Both teens slowly looked up from their conversation to find Kakashi standing over their desks and the rest of the class staring at them as well.

"N-no sir." Naruto stuttered out.

"Very well then. Let this be a _warning_." The white-haired man glared at the pair with the one eye had had uncovered. The boys both nodded as the man turned back to the front of the classroom and pointed a yard stick to the chalkboard. "By the way, _Uchiha_, I'd like to see _you_ draw a better turkey." He said, raising an eyebrow expectantly. Sasuke glared back at the teacher, angrily standing up, tromping over to the board, yanking a piece of chalk out of the teacher's hand, and putting it to the blackboard.

A half an hour later, the entire class sat stunned at this amazingly extravagant picture of a turkey eating the innards of Kakashi-sensei. Sasuke smirked, placing the chalk back down and placing his hands on his hips. "There." Was all he said.

"…Sasuke..." Kakashi muttered. "…If this picture wasn't so amazing…I would have you sent to the principals office for drawing something so violent in school. Nice save." The Uchiha raised an eyebrow. "Now go back to your seat and don't talk again."

"Tch." Sasuke muttered at he sat back down in his seat. Naruto turned to him with this freaked-out look on his face.

"D-dude…"

"What?!"

"You…you're…_really _good at drawing."

"What's your point."

"I don't know, I just…never noticed."

"Art is the only subject I don't completely fail at, Dobe."

"_Apparently_." Naruto answered, blinking in surprise.

--------------------------------------

"Hey guys!" Naruto grinned at his two friends as he and Sasuke placed their lunch trays on the table. Their small 4th shift lunch group generally consisted of Gaara and Hinata, and occasionally Sakura and Neji. Sasuke also had the same lunch shift as his older brother and his creepy senior friends, usually Deidara, Sasori and Kisame, since the rest of his posse usually skipped school altogether. But, to the Uchiha's relief, Itachi sat way at the other end of the cafeteria.

"Anything new going on?" The blonde asked to no one in particular.

"You know the talent show is coming up." Gaara muttered, immediately glancing at Sasuke.

"Oh yeah…!" Hinata smiled. "You think we should play?"

"Naw." Sasuke muttered. The rest looked at him, disappointed. "The talent show is a waste of time."

"B-but…"

"Oh well, I only brought is up because Kiba's band is going to be there." Gaara said.

"WHAT?!" Sasuke slammed a fist on the table, causing everyone to jump in surprise.

"…eh…?" Naruto muttered.

"_Change of plans_, my little gang of happiness." Sasuke smirked evilly as the blonde raised an eyebrow. "Do you realize what this _means_?" He asked.

"Let me guess…you want to embarrass Inuzuka in front of Sakura."

"Bullseye." Sasuke smirked. "We'll '' call it, 'Operation Embarrass Kiba's Ass'…O.E.K.A. It won't only deal with the talent show…whenever any of you see that bastard around Haruno…GET HIM."

"Eh…_right_…" Naruto muttered, slapping a hand to his forehead in disbelief.

"Sasuke…you're completely out of your mind." Hinata muttered.

"Agreed." Said Gaara. "But…it sounds fun so…"

"Let's do it." Sasuke narrowed his eyes, grinning evilly.

* * *

**A/N: LOL Poor Kiba, he better watch out. XD BTW, I'm running out of ideas..so if anyone has any ideas for how to embarrass Kiba...or anything else you might want to see Sasuke and Naruto do...please tell me via reveiw (Or DevART if that's how you get here) and I'll consider putting it in the story. Otherwise...you might have to wait longer for new chapter 'cuz I'll be sitting around trying to think of ideas. LOL **


	8. Late For Class!

**Chapter 8 – Late For Class**

"So…_Sasuke_…" Naruto muttered as the two teens headed for fourth period. Sasuke just looked at the ground without a word. "…How exactly are you planning to...like…embarrass _Kiba_? He's one of the most popular kids in school ya know." Sasuke snorted in disgust.

"Tch…Then we ruin his reputation!" He retorted.

"…_and_…how do you expect to _do_ that?" The blonde asked, joining his friend who went over to lean on his locker. The raven-haired teen crossed his arms and pondered for a moment, a nasty smirk spreading across his face soon after.

"Got it."

"Wait, what?" Naruto stood back up and looked the boy in the eyes.

"…meet me behind the school after fourth period." He smiled.

"B-but what are y-"

"You'll see, Dobe." Sasuke finished, opening his locker and pulling two heavy books and a folder out of it. Naruto just rolled his eyes and continued down the hallway.

"This is bad..._really _bad..." He muttered to himself.

-----------------------------------

The bell rang just as Naruto entered the Chemistry classroom, resulting in him scurrying to his seat and throwing down his stuff only to realize that Sasuke was missing. He looked around, confused. "Where-?"

"Uzumaki." The teacher said, walking up to his desk.

"Eh…Yes?"

"Where's Sasuke." Naruto sweat-dropped, looking around the classroom for an excuse for his friend.

"Um…" He muttered, avoiding eye-contact. "…He turned into…a _wolf!_" He smiled innocently. "…an _evil _wolf…so now he has to go...do important evil wolf stuff…away from here…because he's allergic to school." Mr.Asuma just crossed his arms and shook his head. "Yeah…"

"Naruto…that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard come out of a tenth grader's mouth."

"Well…I-"

"_Dammit!"_ The blonde abruptly turned to face the front of the room where a certain pissy Uchiha burst through the door.

"Uchiha Sasuke-"

"I know, I know, I'm late…" He growled.

"…I don't see a pass either." Mr. Asuma raised an eyebrow.

"What's your_ point_?!" Sasuke snapped back.

"You know the rules, _Sasuke_." The teacher muttered, pointing back to the door. Sasuke growled, turning and trudging out, muttering profanities the whole way. Naruto just sat there and blinked.

"Not again…" He sighed, slapping a hand to his forehead.

-------------------------------------

"…Sasuke?" Orochimaru raised an eyebrow as the Raven-haired boy slammed the office door behind him. Then proceeded to walk over and slam his hands on the principal's desk, looking the man directly in the eyes and huffing.

"Look, Oro…I was late for my fucking class, so give me a pass." The principal just cackled and licked his lips as Sasuke flinched, raising a disgusted eyebrow. "_Oro_…" He muttered warningly.

"_Ok, ok_…give me a second, _boy_." He replied, pulling a yellow slip of paper and a pen from his drawer. Sasuke grabbed it from him as soon as the man was done filling it out, and walked back out of the room. "Your mother will hear of this." Mr.Orochimaru exclaimed, folding his hands on his desk. Sasuke stopped in his tracks and whipped back around.

"WHY?! I was two minutes late for a class!" He yelled back.

"It doesn't matter." The man grinned.

"What do you _mean?!_ I thought you didn't want to stress her out!" Sasuke barked.

"Yes well…I came to a conclusion while thinking the other day."

"_Like.What_." The boy narrowed his eyes, slinging his backpack over one shoulder.

"Your mom probably wouldn't appreciate the fact that I'm treating _you_ special…it's dishonest and unfair to her and the rest of the lovely student body. So beware, Uchiha…I'll be watching and you or your little blonde friend are not getting away with _anything _anymore." The two glared hard at each other for a few minutes before the boy finally gave up, huffing and slamming the door behind him.

"What a pain in the ass." He muttered to himself before re-entering his Chemistry classroom, only to find that the class had been split up in groups and there was a foul stench in the air. Sasuke furrowed his brows, crumpling up the late-pass and chucking it at the teacher before taking a seat next to Naruto, whom looked very…_green_. Mr.Asuma sighed, un-crumpling the paper and looking back up to the pair of teens.

"_Thank you,_ Sasuke." He said before slipping the paper in his pocket and grabbing a large box which was resting on the table behind him.

"Hn." The boy grunted, turning to Naruto and raising an eyebrow. "Dude, what's _your _problem?!" Naruto just shivered, keeping an eye on the box in the teacher's arms.

"W-we're…"

"What?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow at Naruto. The blonde looked like he was about to throw up his lunch.

"…We're dissecting…F-f-" He stuttered, swallowing as the teacher placed the box on their table and reached in. Sasuke just sat there with his mouth gaped open as Mr.Asuma pulled out this little dead baby pig and slopped it in front of the two. "F-fetal pigs…"

"Have fun." The teacher said, smiling as Sasuke twitched in disgust and Naruto tried to desperately hold down his last meal.

"Aah…That's just sick!" Sasuke yelled, calling the attention of the rest of the class who whispered and stared at him. "…And it smells like formaldehyde!" He said, slamming his fist on the table. Naruto just looked up at him.

"Shut up!" He whispered. "I don't like this either but it's a huge part of our grade! Now take the scalpel and help me!"

"Maybe it's a masochist pig." Sasuke said, blinking at the thing on the table.

"What?! It's not gonna friggin' cut _itself_ you idiot!"

"Dammit…why…"

"Well for one thing it's _DEAD_!"

"But…I don't want to touch that thing…" Sasuke revolted, crossing his arms.

"Well…ya have too."

"…fuck…"

**A/N: Okies...first of all I apologize for the shortness of this chapter, and second for the lack of updates! I'm sorry, really...I just haven't had much time, and I was working on my other fic (BTW, Cookies 4 U if you got that wolf thingy) LOL. So I'll try to update more...Eh heh, and for those of you who haven't done so before, dissecting fetal pigs is the most disguisting thing you'll ever do during school...And formaldehyde is NOT a nice smell. Yupp. See ya next chapter! **


	9. Pig Juice

**Chapter 9 – Pig Juice**

"Touch it."

"_What?!"_

"Touch it!"

"No!"

"C'mon Sasuke…Look at it."

"Um I think_ it's_ the one looking at _me_! …and it's _DISGUISTING_!"

"Well, _yeah_. But don't you want to be able to walk around and tell people that you've touched a pig's eyeball?"

"Ok…_EWW, and NO!"_

"Whatever, you're acting like a three-year-old little girl! C'mon! I went through all the trouble of pulling it out of the skull and all you do is tell me it's disgusting?"

"It's not like I _asked_ you to take it out _DOBE_."

"Agh…ya know what, _forget it_! _You're _taking out the brain though."

"WH…WHAT?! And how did you come to _that _conclusion!?"

"Because _I've_ done everything else! Now take the damn scalpel and dig it out!" Naruto growled, shoving the tiny knife in the Uchiha's appalled face. Sasuke twitched, hesitantly taking the scalpel from his friend and turning to the now mutilated pig on the desk. The result of Naruto spazzing all over it's body parts.

"This is wrong…_so wrong_…" He muttered while cutting the animal's skull open.

"Don't cut it!"

"Don't cut _what?!"_

"The brain! It's supposed to be fully intact or we won't get a good grade on it."

"Shut up." Sasuke snorted, stabbing the head and grinning.

"Hey! What'd I just tell you?!"

"_Shut up_." Sasuke grinned, now cutting and stabbing random things. Naruto just stared at him for a moment, and eyebrow raised. Sasuke continued stabbing, cutting and slicing the scull, digging everything out of it, causing it to spill all over the table and leak revolting things everywhere.

"OH MY GOD, SASUKE'S GONE ALL KNIFE-HAPPY! _HELP_!" Naruto yelled, throwing Sasuke off his stool and onto the floor.

"GAHH! What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Sasuke growled, grabbing the blonde by the scruff of the shirt and throwing him to the floor face-first so that he was on top. Naruto grunted, scratching at the Uchiha like a trapped cat in attempt to grab the scalpel from him. Hearing all the scuffling, Gaara stood up from his desk and leisurely walked over to the pair, stopping with his arms crossed.

"Sasuke-Bastard…_What_ are you two _doing_…?" He muttered emphatically. The two teens froze to look at their band-mate, immediately looking back at each other only to realize to awkward situation. Sasuke twitched, throwing the blonde off of him and abruptly standing up. Gaara just watched them, expressionless as Sasuke frantically dusted himself off and Naruto slowly stood, holding his head. "…wow…you two are sad…" He muttered.

"Yeah well…_Naruto_ just _attacked_ me out of nowhere!" Sasuke scolded, turning to glare at his red-haired friend. Naruto flinched, turning to glare at his Raven-haired friend…and Gaara just glared back at _both _of them.

"_You _were going all psycho-crazy on that pig! …and with that dangerous weapon too!" The blonde held up the scalpel which he managed to grab from the Uchiha earlier. Sasuke raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms.

"You call_ that_ a dangerous weapon?" The Uchiha laughed. "You couldn't even cut a finger off with that thing…Look…" He grabbed back the scalpel and ran it across the edge of his palm. It made a small inch-long cut right below his index finger. "This thing is pitiful!"

"Sasuke! What did you do!?" Naruto yelled. "Now you've got pig-juice in your hand you idiot!" Sasuke stopped for a moment, glaring at the cut on his palm.

"WAAAGGGHHHH!!!!!" He suddenly yelled, throwing the knife back at the blonde and running for the sinks. Mr.Asuma looked up from grading papers when he heard the Uchiha's loud exclamations, and stood up to see what was going on. Gaara sighed, slapping a hand to his forehead and sliding it down the length of his face.

"Pathetic."

"Uchiha Sasuke." The teacher said, standing behind the boy who jumped in surprise.

"…Eep…" He muttered, sweating and turning to face the man.

"What's going on?"

"U-um…"

"Sasuke cut himself with the scalpel!" Naruto yelled, still holding the "dangerous weapon" up. Asuma raised an eyebrow, turning back to the Uchiha.

"Is this true?"

"Well…um…yeah?" Sasuke replied, looking back at the cut which was now bleeding pretty badly.

"_Great_…well _now_ you have to go to the _nurse_." He sighed, pulling a pass out of his pocket and handing it to the boy. Sasuke took it, grabbed his stuff and hurried out the door.

'_Dammit…why am I such an idiot?!' _He muttered to himself, turning into the nurses' room. There in a lounge chair sat a blonde-haired woman with a nasty look on her face. The name-plate on the desk said "Ms.Tsunade".

"What do you need?" She asked without even looking up from her files.

"I eh…cut myself with a scalpel…and now there's pig juice in my blood." He replied.

"Idiot."

"Am I going to die?" Sasuke muttered, signing his name on the sign-in sheet.

"No. Wash it off." She pointed to the small bathroom to the left of her.

"But I already washed the cut off." Sasuke blinked at her.

"_Wash it off."_ She said emotionless. Sasuke sighed and did as he was told, washing to cut out for the second time and returning to find her writing up one of those yellow info-slips. "Give me your name."

"Hn?"

"Your name…what is it."

"…Uchiha Sasuke."

"What's wrong with you."

"Did I already tell you that?"

"Tell me what." She muttered. Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"Um…"

"What's wrong with you?!"

"I have a cut in my hand!" He retorted. "…geez…!"

"Are you dizzy?"

"No."

"Do you feel nauseous?"

"No."

"Does anything hurt?"

"Um…my hand?"

"Good. That's normal." She said, continuing to write.

"Ok then…?"

"Are you bleeding anywhere else? Like…in your pants?"

"No?!"

"Are you sure."

"No…I-I mean yes."

"You're lying."

"What?!"

"Have you experience any mood swings?"

"What are you talking about?!"

"Well?"

"No?"

"Are you tired?"

"No."

"Do you have tender breasts?"

"WHAT?! What are you-?"

"You're hesitating!"

"What are you talking about? Are you _accusing_ me of something?!"

"Have you had any food cravings?!"

"EH?! What does _that _have to-?" Sasuke stopped in mid-sentence, twitching. "Waitaminute…I AM _NOT_ **PREGNANT**!"

"LIAR!"

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING _MIND_ LADY!?"

"_ME!?_ I'M NOT THE ONE GETTING _LAID _BEFORE I'M MARRIED YOU DISGUISTING BITCH!"

"WHAT!? BUT I'M A _MAN!!!"_

"…_RIGHT _and _I'm_ Michel Jackson…" The nurse huffed as if disappointed in to boy. Sasuke twitched in anger, trying desperately to hold in the urge to beat the living shit out of this woman. She simply stood up, opening the cabinet and pulling out a band-aid. "Here." She muttered, handing him a copy of the paper info-slip and the bandage. "If you notice yourself gaining any weight…don't freak out. You'll lose it when you have the kid…well…_most_ of it anyways…ta ta!" Tsunade smiled, shooing the boy out just as the bell rang. Sasuke ran out of the school like hell.

"Shit…that was disturbing…" The Uchiha muttered as he stalked off to the back of the school. He placed a small rock in between the back door and the wall, leaving the entrance cracked open slightly. Then proceeded to lean on the brick wall and wait for his friend. "Geez…what the hell…"

* * *

**A/N: ...The nurse is totally on drugs...but don't do drugs kiddies...they're bad for you. Tsunade is a bad example for us all...and Sauske's a pregnant girl..._apparently._ Well then, now that we've all had our regular dose of retardedness, go eat cookies!**

**See ya next chapter & plz reveiw!**


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